You say Tomato and I say go .........Yourself

Sometimes you have to wonder where your doctor finished in his class. And sometimes you gotta wonder how much bureaucracy they have to put up with. Then you have ask yourself how much do I have to put up with from the whole system.

When I started this phase of my journey, I was an eager co-operative patient looking forward to a better life. By the time I got out of the hospital I was a less eager more angry Jackass that wanted to rip somebody a new one. Why? Let me elaborate.

I went in for what was described a day procedure. The worst case is I would stay over night. I don't like hospitals, it is filled with sick people who can make you sick. Knowing this I was fine with having to stay overnight as long the sick people would leave me alone and they gave me sleeping medication to dull the noise. (both externally and internally)

Tuesday surgery, stay overnight.....Wednesday Morning, oops.....you may have to stay another day. I have now met the Schnitzels, you gotta get me outta here starts to ring through my system. Why do I have to stay? My blood is not thin enough, I need more heparin. Thursday morning I have had 4 quarts of heparin plus 10+ mg of warfarin, by god my blood must be thin enough by now.

Noooo not yet so you ask the question "If I am taking warfarin at home and I have the $200 in inohep (self injecting heparin for home use) which the Doctors have made me buy, why can't I go home and do this instead of getting my blood thin here and being out $200 and having a bunch of heparin filled needles lying around for nothing?

Nurse response, "That's a good question, I'll ask."

By now I have seen, Novak briefly, Sullltan (the taper), the Irish Doctor Sulltan has dumped me onto, Vuurman (the new South African) and 2 or 3 other on call doctors who drift in and out of the wards.

The nurse comes back to say there is No, Novak, Sullltan, or Irishman to ask and there is only Vuurman and he will consult with head of the pharmacy Doctor Smith. Smith tells Vuurman, give him 10mg of warfarin and send him home but he has to have an INR test on Tuesday.

WooooHoooo ......but what's this........ Vuurman's name isn't on the release papers, it's Sullltan's name. Please refer to Friday April 16, Ever has one of those days.

By the time you figure out that you are going to be held prisoner because of bureaucracy it becomes clear that there is something you want to say. Thanks Nadia G from Bitchin' Kitchen for the quote when I needed one.

You say Tomato and I say go fuck yourself!!

If you're lucky like me you get to say this more than once maybe not with the same words slightly politer ones but the end effect is exactly the same.

That is exactly what I did on the Monday of my release. I used the polite words. After all you couldn't have found a doctor in this hospital and use the real phrase (This is weird because a hospital is where they work).

It wasn't the nurses' fault they were all just following orders.
(Hey wait a minute there should have been a historical note stuck in here referencing 1941 or 2.)

I say Tomato and you say .......................