Just a brief warning. I sometimes use coarse language while writing these pieces. I do not wish to offend anyone and apologize if I do. Think of it as loud punctuation.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Two Headed Dragons

One of the side effects of surgery is depression. It’s not that I’m unfamiliar with depression, I have suffered from it on and off for most of my life. It never lasted very long except one time. I did seek professional help and have been relatively good every since. The hospital doesn’t talk that much about depression, either does the doctors. They just give you a prescription and send you home. It’s not quite right, if I hadn’t recognised the name of the drug I wouldn’t have known any better. The problem is that silence doesn’t help you. Most anti-depressives have side effects and they effect everyone differently.


It has lots to do with the dosage, Bupropian in too high of a dose makes me anxious. I may not feel depressed but it feels like the walls are closing in when I travel anywhere. The other thing they need to tell you is that you have ease off these drugs. DON’T LET YOUR PRESCRIPTION LAPSE AND GO WITHOUT THE DRUGS FOR A FEW DAYS. The next thing you know you’ll meet the two headed dragon.

The two headed dragon slides up to you and starts to work. The head with the short neck starts to whisper things in your ear. Self doubt, questions your actions, reminds you of the things you should be doing. While it starts to whisper, the head with long neck begins gradually to wrap itself around you, starting at the bottom and working upwards. The next thing you know you are not sleeping well, you’re tired all the time. Puppies on TV start to make you cry and anything even remotely sentimental makes you well up. While this is going on the whispering continues and gets stronger. Your subconscious won’t let you be, the next thing know you are staring into space contemplating the pile of crap your life has become. What are you going to do?

You in your foggiest moment realises that your prescription has run out so you get back on your medication. That’s what you do. If you have never had any medication for depression, you go see your GP and explain to him or her what has been going on inside your melon. You take extra vitamin B50’s, go to bed early for a few days and let things get balanced out. Before you know it, your life isn’t a pile of crap, you stop beating yourself up and start to deal with the minor problems that have been bothering you. One problem at a time.

Anyway, my two headed dragon has started to uncoil from me, the whispering has become more of a mumble. It’s raining outside with sunny breaks much like life. I feel better having talked about after surgery depression. The pain I suffer from is minor now, my breathing is stabilizing, the problems I have to deal with are not so bad, I am almost ready to get back to work at the Big Box and I am glad to be alive.

Don’t forget to take your medication whatever it is.

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