The Sea of Weird Side Effects.

Well for all my friends and family worried about my eyes, the problem seems to have eased off a bit. I will be seeing the doctor about it though.

I am currently working my way through all the possible side effects you could ever want to encounter. You know when they put those disclaimers on medicine that start with, "May cause......." and end up with you thinking, Boy are they ever covering their butts.


That's sort of the land I'm stuck in right now, the Sea of Weird Side Effects. I don't want to sound to much like a hypochondriac but apparently my body has figured out it has gone through some sort severe trauma and it's trying to get the point across to my brain in any manner it can.

I am obviously getting better, because the two of them are talking. It started about a week and a half ago with a little nausea, along with constant back and arm pain on my right side. Then I got the light sensitive eyes, which has eased but has been followed by dizzy spells. It took me forever to figure out what was causing that. The source seems to be my neck, again I'll have to talk to the Doctor. I have been treating them with a longer rest period. So far so good. Lee and Joan's brother in-law gets dizzy spells that puts him in bed and there is nothing they (the doctors) can do about it. I can't stand mine, I can't imagine having to live with these all the time.

All we're going to do is slowly paddle through this weird stuff. It may take a few more weeks but I know I'll get to the shore normal (or as normal as I can get) and start to carry on with my life. In the meantime we'll keep paddling.

Weird Science & Road Trips

Big day yesterday, went on a road trip to Superstore and got to do my feeble old guy routine. I hung off the cart as we gathered mostly Dog food and some other provisions.

When I wasn't holding myself up by giving the cart handle a death grip, I kept wondering where Merete went to. It wasn't all that bad but the reality of shopping and dealing with people again was a bit of an eye opener.

But then I knew it would be, because I've preached this for a little while. You don't really recognise day to day stress on your system until you are aware of every beat of your heart.

Yes, I did feel like a little old man, gripping my cart handle and walking at half my normal speed so I wouldn't run out of steam and fall down. Even more so when we got to the car and Merete told my to get in and leave the bags of groceries alone. Fud.

Here's the weird science part, during the first week after the surgery I had a little episode driving home. Have you ever had those eye drops that dilate your pupils and make them feel like they're getting stretch marks from the bright light outside? That's what happened to me during the first week, it felt like my pupils were stuck on pitch black night mode. I thought I was going to pass out.

For the past few weeks I have been in and out of the house walking around the yard. However, I haven't been out for extended periods, mainly because of that stupid wind we've been having. Yesterday, I was out for some time and after a rest in the afternoon we went down to the shore to visit our friends Lee and Joan. After about an hour and a half I thought my head was going to explode. I thought I had some kind of sun stroke. It happened again within the last hour, we were sitting on the deck and after about half an hour it felt like my pupils were dilated, Merete checked and they were.

Now that's some kind of weird science. Is this a drug reaction or am I going to have only come out at night? I guess I have something else to ask the doctor about next week.

A Question of Balance

6:45 am, this just in, from the muscles in my back; 'Time to get up again and move around a bit'. The back spasms are getting better, but when I sit too long or lay in bed too long I get stiff and not in a good way.

I have been out walking around the yard and even cooked a full dinner last night. Unfortunately the Mango Curry Chicken ended up a little dry. Too much time away from the kitchen I suppose.

My strength has improved everyday this past week, there have been no set backs whatsoever. I thought there might be last night when I sneezed twice but I survived, it felt like somebody kicked me in the chest with steel toe boots. After about ten minutes everything settled back to what could be deemed normal.

We are going to have to get out next week. You really can't judge your progress properly unless you interact with the real world. Living on top of a mountain is great for a lot of reasons but it is not real compared to going into the town or city. On our mountain I can feel good and strong but I am only dealing with Merete and the two Cookie Leaches. Actually having to interact with people in real situations like grocery shopping, driving(which I'm not), listening to the din of a store or people in the store is whole different reality.

I still remember these experiences from my original heart episode. I believe I am strong enough tor try some bold experiments next week. We will have to strike a balance between the mountain and the outside world. This question of balance between mountain and town or city will determine my actual recovery level. It will start with the actual drive to town, so far I've been a pretty good patient and passenger but my jaw does get a little sore from clenching my teeth.

Sleep Deprived & Dogs

In the previous post I failed to mention my two pals. In an effort to get some sleep we have moved the dog bed to Merete's side of the room. The other thing we have done is kept Brando off the bed. The night before last when I still had sleeping pills Brando slept in the bed with us. His snoring problem bothered me so I suggested that he sleep in the dog bed with Molly. Merete wanted them out of the room completely, I thought that was too much. Guess who was right?

You got it, not me.

Brando sounded like somebody on a 90cc Honda Mountain bike or a pack of drunken Shriners on Mini Bikes. Finally at about 1am, I wined you're right and moved the pair to the living room, thinking this would solve the problem. When Brando wasn't snoring, the two of them would walk down the hall to bedroom and stare through the gate wondering what they had done wrong to get kicked out of the bedroom. They would stand there for a few minutes and then click their way across the laminate floor back to their beds.

Today, they are still wondering what went wrong and are stuck to me once again like two hairy leeches.

Sleeping Pills & Laxatives

Little did I know when I entered this maze that parts of me would age rapidly. Here I am at 56 all of sudden using Sleeping Pills and Laxatives. I was hoping that the Laxative thing could wait until I was at least in my seventies.
The Sleeping Pill thing is a whole other issue, I have had a tendency over a number of years not being able to shut off my brain at night. I figured one day that sleeping pills would be the answer. The issue I have now is that I am not trying to shut off my brain; I am trying to convince it that it is okay to go to sleep. This can take hours like last night without a Sleeping Pill I didn't actually zonk out until about 3:30am. You're going to heal up real good, getting to sleep at that time and still waking up at 6am.

Here's the other weird thing about sleep, I am scared to go to sleep, quite often since the surgery I'll nod off and suddenly wake up in a panic. This is really a screwed up situation. Here's another thing I have discovered during the past year, if I have too much sugar or food that contains sugar I can't get to sleep. I'm blaming last night Arizona Ice Tea even though I cut it with 50% water.

Back to Laxatives for a moment, I won't dwell because this is a shitty subject.(pardon the pun) I am on these pain killers that bung you up, so the hospital suggested a Laxative at night to keep the pipes working. Okay, I thought a temporary measure, I can deal with that. Bull Pucky, if you take a Laxative at 9:00pm guess when you are going to have a movement? The next F........ing night at 9:00pm that's when. This messes with your whole constitution. Okay so I'm not the brightest tool in the shed, I figured this would naturally straighten out. Noooooo.. After two weeks of missing a good portion of Law & Order SVU each night between 8:30 to 9:00pm, I come up with a bright idea. Why don't I take the Laxative at 7:00am and get back to normal. Brilliant idea yes! Nooo it takes couple of days for this stuff get used to the time change. Mother of God, thank goodness this didn't happen during Spring Ahead or Fall Behind, I would loose my sight.

Today is Doctor day, I will be requesting more Sleeping Pills so I can get a decent nights sleep and dream with great anticipation 7:00am Thursday's Laxative experiment results.

Sun and Fun

Today is Sunday, I have achieved my only objective today which was to call my Mother. I got an update on her condition(s) and she got an update on my condition.

Janna and Travis are going out for a visit and we will get an update from them later.

I was up again at 5:45 am just before my pain meds wore off. I had some breakfast, some medication, some coffee watched the news and before I knew it, it was 9 am.

I then proceeded to lie down again for about an hour and a half and then went outside to watch Merete work. The dogs were stuck to me like canine leeches from the time I got up. It's frustrating not being able help in the garden but I am sure it won't be too long before I can putter a bit within reason. Still no lifting for a minimum of ten weeks. In the meantime I will just have to get used to the dog leeches stuck to me, following my every move.

The scar is healing very well, however the muscle spasms in my back have eased slightly but I am painfully aware when the pain killers start to loose their strength. Tomorrow is blood test day, this will let me know where my coumadin level is which controls the thickness of blood. It has to be between 2.0 and 3.0, as specified by the surgeon. This prevents clots forming around the valve.

Grouchy = Feeling Better

If it weren't for the pain medication I would look much like this picture. I think I actually I look like this on the inside, one big ugly dog that wants to bark or bite somebody's ass off. I guess I'm a little out of sorts this morning having woken up again at 5:30 am for no reason at all other than some body part was aching. I did go back to bed at 7:30 but could not sleep just lay there listening to my heart and having my brain on random play again.

I got back up at 9:15 in search of images to use on the blog and listen to my heart beat. Don't get me wrong hearing your own heart beat is reassuring, but sometimes it gets a little annoying especially if you are trying to get some rest. I sound a little bitchy don't I! When I was at the GP yesterday I remembered what he said to me when he signed my "Must not Work" note. He said "Aren't you going to go a little stir crazy?" My reply was NO, well I've started to reconsider his question. Before I could putter in the garden, drive and even paint. Right now, I can sit, stand, sleep and watch TV. If I'm really pushing myself I can walk down the drive to the gate and back.

Here comes the rationalization. I am alive and each day I am feeling better that makes me grouchy. When I feel better I want to do things. I can't, NOT ALOUD, not for another 10 weeks minimum.

Sometimes you just have to bark a bit to make you feel better. Thanks for listening.