Observations on Specialists

One thing about time after surgery is that you have a lot of time on your hands to ponder 'what you have just been' and 'where it is going to get you'.

I have started to compile a few observations over the past days and thought I'd share them where you like it or not.






Cardiologists: Well before your surgery (unless of course it's a emergency) a GP will refer you to one of these fine people. Expect a lack of personality and an air superiority; they can't help it it's a defence mechanism. The only time they will engage in a human to human rather than doctor to patient conversation is after they have been chastised by your GP for not explaining something clearly enough or scaring the shit out of you for the same reason.

As you heart condition progresses and the explanations gets more complex try to take someone in the examination room with you. That way when you sit in stunned silence with your jaw dropped, you will not be alone. When you go in alone quite often what happens is the Cardiologist will say something befuddling and your mind will not let go of it. You will then procede not hear anything else he says, even if you are quick enough to question him or her immediately, your brain will still be focussed on what was said before and not the response to you query. That is why you need a backup brain sitting next to you. If possible have them take notes for two reasons, first it bugs the hell out of specialists when you take notes and secondly you have reference material to refer too later.

The AirX 1400 -Incentive Spirometer

Before your surgery you get a gift. It is an Incentive Spirometer. Nice Huh! Not only do you get this gift, but you get tor try it out prior to receiving it, wait there's more. After a brief test drive of your Spirometer, it gets personalized with your name on it. Sounds great doesn't it! When you do your the test drive of your shiny new Spirometer try not to show off.

This is how the Spirometer works. First you inhale as much air as possible, then you put your lips on the white plastic mouth and blow. Easy enough , yes but there is a bit of a catch, you want the little white ball to stay at the top for as long as possible. (that is within reason of course don't be too ambitious).

The nurse will congratulate you on your achievement and take your Spirometer and personilize it for you by writing down the time the ball floated at the top of the tube. She will also do something a little sly, she will reset you Spirometer from 210cc to 400cc. What does this do you may ask? It almost doubles the opening size where the air comes into the device.

Say you're a gifted individual and can suck a golf ball through a a garden hose, this effectively changes the garden hose to storm drain. You are going to pass out before you post the number nurse has written on the Incentive Spirometer. Until I noticed the changed setting I was blowing my brains out and only getting 5cc compared to the 12cc I did on my trial run. Once I found out about the little adjustment I discovered I was at 9cc. Now I have Incentive using my Spirometer, if I hadn't found that little trick they played I would have caved in my head.

Merete said that she saw the nurse change the setting. I think maybe she slid the nurse five bucks hoping that if my head caved in I would be easier to live with. She could just park me on the deck and hang flower baskets off of me.

You had Heart Surgery When.......

The Patient's View

My Top 10 things that will tell you.


1. You start talking about things in past tense. Example :"I used to love this hot weather."or"I used enjoy a cigar and a glass of port following a meal of roast lamb."

2. You have difficulty just reaching your ass, let alone wiping it.

3. When you cough, you hold a pillow and your eyes bug out.

4.You just start crying.

5. Your care giver loves you but you are a pain in the ass. You're acting at least 30 years older.

6. You blurt shit out rudely because something just stabbed you in the side.

7. You get excited about a BM.

8. Your'e happy in bed making notes on nothing.

9. You look forward to spending time with family and friends.

10. You just can't wait for tomorrow.

Tummy Face

Well say Good Bye to Tummy Face. After a sleepless night I am headed to the doctor this morning to have my stitches removed. Hopefully I'll get some sleeping pills as well, I couldn't sleep because my brain was on random play (more on that later).

8.6.kgs of water. Look out Ladies.

I always wonder why my female friends complained about retaining water. I get it now, I gained 8.6kg of fluid during the surgery. I just want to know where did it come from? The weird thing was when I woke up Tuesday morning I had lost almost all of it, I know I peed a lot but not over 16 pounds of water. Where does it go and how can you keep it away?

I'm a Drunk Painter Jim, not a Miracle Worker

Good Morning Blogite Family.

I have landed once again on my weak and wobbly feet.
It was a long ride home yesterday, giving me lots of time to ponder the past few days.
I will be doing some short entries until my strength builds, so don't expect any mystical insights or deep thoughts; as if you would anyway. The most common expression over the next few days here on the mountain will probably be "fuck that hurts" or "which pill?"

I have to rest now but in my next post I'll show you where it really hurts and tell you why!

HUGE NEWS!!

Dad was discharged today...much to my heart's delight and my anxiety's dismay!
He is home in his comfy leather chair eating ice cream as I type this (a small heart smart portion of course) He is so glad to be back on his mountain top!



A few things happened in the days leading up to his discharge.
Yesterday his hemoglobin was low and he was quite lethargic from it. To fix this he received two pints of blood which perked him right back up!

He was given new medication to get rid of the excess fluid, by yesterday evening he had only lost 2lbs....BUT overnight, he lost 10lbs! He was pretty worn out from getting up and down to go to the bathroom, but it was worth it, all that peeing was his ticket out of the hospital.

My Mom and Dad both attended a discharge orientation yesterday which detailed home care and signs to look out for in case of trouble. Today they attended an orientation on Coumadin, which is a blood thinner Dad will have to be on for the rest of his life. The orientation detailed associated risks and dietary requirements to follow while on Coumadin. My Dad was soooo happy when he learned he could never eat Kale again. I'm sure he would have jumped up and down if he was allowed :) He can't have any leafy greens which is a shame because there are actually a few that he likes!

Unfortunately, his schedule is very demanding now that he is home. He already has to go to the clinic in Sooke tomorrow to have blood work and then to the doctor the next day to have his stitches removed. He will have to go to town for blood work twice a week for the first little while. The blood work is to check his RNI levels (I think that is right) which affect how much Coumadin he needs to take. It is all very complicated! I think all the trips to town are really going to wear him out. At least he will sleep better now that he is in his own bed.

The next 4-6 weeks are going to be very tiring, and intense for both my parents, my Dad especially of course! I realize everyone will be excited to have him home and eager to get in touch, but for now it is best if we all express our excitement through emails to my Mom and blog comments.
I will be helping my Mom figure out a visiting schedule for those who are interested tentatively beginning in mid July.

That is all for now. My Mom will be doing some more blog posts from home and I will step in when she can't get to it. Sorry we left y'all hanging!

xo Janna